what i find totally infuriating about the “consent is not so clear-cut — if she’s not outright saying no, how are we to know?” protestation is that it supposes that we lose all basic social understanding when sex is concerned. it is cynical and false and anyone who makes such an “argument” is brazenly lying to you. in all other interpersonal aspects of our life we’re fucking paranoid social savants; we read tiny gestures and body language as someone ill-concealing their dislike for us, and we artfully interpret speaking tone to identify sarcasm, and make claims about people’s intent from something as banal and arbitrary as a handshake’s firmness. everyone thinks they’re a great judge of acting when discussions of movie stars or the oscars come up. if our friend ‘ums’ and ‘uhhs’ when we say let’s go for a coffee sometime we know instantly that they are not so keen on it, even if they DO answer yes! and yet we are supposed to believe you when you say you have no real way of knowing if she really consents to you having sex with her? you are lying, sir.